Yes, Jack Quaid Loves ‘When Harry Met Sally’ as Much as You Do

Also, around Christmas my girlfriend and I get way too into these Hallmark movies. You have to. They all have the same tropes, and they’re a great watch. I’m never heartwarmed or anything. It’s more so just like, “Oh, another movie about a cottage. Interesting.” They always go to this one outdoor market that I think is used in 50 of them. We’ve developed a bit of a drinking game to it. It’s a good time.

Speaking of drinking, what’s your favorite hangover cure?

This is going to sound so lame, but I think a good one is to buy a Nalgene bottle and fill it up with water. Drink the entire thing before you go to bed. It’s simple, but it just does the job. I try to go for a jog the next day. It sucks, and I’m hungover, but I sweat everything out and it’s fine.

Screw, marry, kill: weed, pizza, or a cocktail.

You have to marry pizza. It just seems stable and warm. Screw the cocktail because I like cocktails. Cocktails are great, but if you marry cocktails that can get dangerous. I kill weed only because when I was in college, I had the worst weed experience in my life that was really just me getting too high for the first time. I had a panic attack that lasted for about a week, I would say, because it was the first time I had ever experienced that. It was just like, No, I don’t know if I can do this. I don’t know if my body works well with this, so kill weed. That’s an easy one.

You stop by a convenience store on your way to a house party. What are you buying?

There was a time in my 20s where I did this thing with miniature airplane liquors. There was a couple of times where my friends threw these costume parties, and I always went as a wizard. This is very specific. I had this cloak, and then underneath the cloak I had a fishing vest that hid various miniatures of alcohol. What I would do is I would distract people with one hand. And with the other hand, I’d reach into the cloak, unbeknownst to people, and then I would memorize this pocket held with miniatures. So I’d be like, “Expecto Patrón” and then immediately pull out a little Patrón bottle. People, for a second, believed in magic. I don’t do that anymore, but party wizard lives on for sure.

Who was your first celebrity crush?

It’s from when I was a baby—I remember my parents told me that I apparently had a crush on Vanna White from Wheel of Fortune. I think maybe I met her and got really shy.

What’s your type?

Smarter than me. Not that I’m highly intelligent and someone has to best me. No, I’m a dumbass, and I just need somebody to help me out with stuff. Someone who’s in the arts—my girlfriend is a comedian at the Groundlings, and it’s cool to have something in common to talk about. She does sketch comedy. I do sketch comedy. I’ve never dated someone who wasn’t in some way involved in the arts. I guess that’s kind of my type: smarter than me and artistic.