SZA Shares the Stories Behind Five Memorable Songs From 'CTRL' and 'SOS'
My friends call me Sos, and I'm cool with that. I prefer not to be called Solána because my mom doesn’t even call me that. It makes me feel like I’m in trouble and immediately uncomfortable. But SZA is not my favorite, either.
“SOS” sets up the energy of the album. I took a hiatus, and I’m back for blood now in an aggressive way. I’ve been fed up with the world, relationships, gossip, and lack of respect. I’ve been screaming into a void by myself, and it feels very exhausting.
I have a therapist, but it’s all cumulative and takes time and availability, two things I don’t have. And remembering to call her—I have a fear of doing shit, like approving photos, approving audio, anything. It’s tough, and she’s part of that, so it becomes this enormous task in my brain. But when I’m on the phone with her, it all falls away. But before I get there, if I ever get there, I have avoidance anxiety. I feel the same way about dropping music.
“Kill Bill”
When I first heard that my ex had a new girlfriend, I was like, “I can’t believe I wasted all that time with this person. I could kill him for it, and fuck her too.” That’s just how I felt naturally. I stopped smoking weed and wanted people to know that I’m very clearheaded and not distorted by alcohol, drugs, or anything else—and yet I still feel rage.
In the movie Kill Bill, if you think about the relationship with Bill and how The Bride loved him…. They were getting married, and he turned on her and became a stranger and a villain. She had to do what she needed to do to free herself for her completion.
The harshest truth about love is that it’s fleeting. It’s also forever. It’s very interesting—like romance, those warm fuzzy feelings are fleeting. But those things are forever: the sense of safety, trusting someone you love, and wanting the best for them. So breathe, don’t hurt anyone—and sing about it.
