Single John Responds: What It Means When He Says, "I'll Call You."

At the end of a good first date (i.e., the guy suggests having another drink at the bar after dinner, or kisses you, etc), what's the deal with the guy saying something along the lines of "Let's do this again soon," or "I'll call you," or mentions doing something specific in the future--and then you never hear from him again? I've tried both following up myself, or letting him take the lead, and there's no difference, the guys go MIA! It would be much better if the guy just said something vague like "nice to meet you" or "have a good night" if he wasn't planning to call. I'm not naive enough to think that every guy is going to want to go out with me again, but I do wish that the ones who didn't wouldn't set the expectation that they would be in touch.

There's a big difference between asking if you want to have another drink and kissing, but as a general rule, "I'll call you" means, "I will not be calling you."

I wish I had better news for you. Like, if he had adds something more specific, something along the lines of "I'll call you...after work tomorrow," or "I'll call you….after my hibernation" (I don't know, I guess you are bears dating in this hypothetical), then I might say "wait and see. But "I'll call you," followed by no call, almost always means "no thanks."

I'm all for being real, but are you sure it would be better if he said something like "nice to meet you"? I know that not knowing always seems worse than being rejected, but ask yourself, if you're working under the assumption that "I'll call you" means the opposite, would any of these vagueries really make you feel any better?