Sex, Hookup Regret: Relationship Advice on How to Handle the Morning After
The good news: He'll probably just be psyched you're so into it. If you're comfortable, tell him flat out what would feel even better for you in bed—leave the "because I've been pretending 80 percent of the time" out of it—and be direct about what you want. If you're looking for a more subtle way to shake up your routine, Young suggests asking your partner about his favorite sex scene from a book or movie. "This introduces the subject indirectly, and gives you the opportunity to talk about what you would and wouldn't want to do from the scene," says Young. (It also gives you the chance to introduce a scene that puts you on top, or includes more oral sex, if that's what you're into.)
If you're comfortable with porn, Young also recommends watching adult films produced by woman on sites like erikalust.com or hotmoviesforher.com. "Check it out alone first, and then choose a scene you'd love to do and share it with him," she says. This way, your sudden sex switch-up is more about looking for new things to try together—not a slap in the face about how you've been O-ing it in for months.
Left Before Breakfast
Sticking around for some eggs and OJ hardly makes you a stage-five clinger. But if you've already left—and are having a hangover about your decision—this is easy enough to fix. "Text him and say something like, It's too bad I had to run out this morning. Can I see you sometime this week?" says Madison. "Guys aren't nearly as confident as we give them credit for. He could be thinking, Did I screw that up?' and getting neurotic."
The next time you stay over, suggest grabbing breakfast at a nearby restaurant or café. "This way, you're putting it on neutral territory so you don't feel like you're invading his place," says Madison. (It also gives you an exit plan if you want him to know you like him, but you have a gazillion things to do that day.)
No matter what, resist calling to explain yourself. "Less is definitely more in this situation," says Young. "Having a big, long conversation where you admit you didn't want to be that girl' isn't necessary. Just shrug it off, and make a joke about it when you see him again." If the whole should-I-stay-or-should-I-go-now? routine is still stressing you out, invite him back to your place on your next date. Problem = solved.
