Orange Is the New Black, Season 2, Episode 1 Recap: Piper's Betrayed
The next morning, Mazall is trying to do Pipes' astrological chart, but Pipes leaves at the beginning of rec time. She races to see Vause and asks about Pennastucky. Pennsa is banged up but not dead. Then Vause says they're at this facility because of their trial. Vause's boss, Kubra, has been extradited from Europe. Pipes is relieved because that means this new jail assignment is temporary. Vause ctrl +alt + del Pipes moment of joy by saying they cannot admit that they knew Kubra. Pipes is afraid of lying, and Vause states that Kubra will never take the fall, so they need to cover their own butts and say nothing in order to stay alive.
Next, Larry's dad does show up (I guess I was wrong). Pipes says she misses Larry, and despite Dad's request that they focus on the case, the two reminiscence about family. Then it's down to business. She says she met Kubra, but she's worried about her safety. He advises that she just needs to tell the truth.
Piper returns to the cell and gives the gals a roach, but they say it's too small. Pipes says she's done doing this stupid task, but they say they're not scared of her after what they heard she did in Litchfield. One woman says she's killed 13 people to Piper's one person. Just then, a CO takes her and Vause to court. On the way there, Pipes expresses her unease with lying and wants to do the right thing. Vause is pissed.
In court, Piper begins her testimony after seeing a distraught Vause in the holding chamber. She says Vause was the love of her life—in front of Larry's dad!—but that she doesn't recall ever meeting Kubra. Larry's dad is clearly upset, and so am I! This is crazy. Just tell the truth, girl. Who gives a damn about Vause and her puppy-dog eyes? Following the testimony, Larry's dad tells her he's done with being her lawyer and she needs to get her damn life together. #Preach
We see another flashback of Pipes and Vause hanging with Kubra, but then quickly return to the present. Vause and her lawyer exit, and she tells Pipes that she had a change of heart and told the truth so she could be released from jail. WHAT. THE. FK?! And it will be WHAT THE FK, the sequel starring Alan Rickman:
...if, later on this season, Pipes makes up with Vause and they start hibernating in each other boobs like a winter's frost is fast approaching.
Alrighty, what did you think of the season-two premiere? Am I overreacting about the Vause betrayal? Is anyone else haunted by the Vaseline-in-the-ear trick?
