"Can I Have 9 Bridesmaids if My Groom Only Has 2 Guys?!" (I Say YES!)

Here's the thing, the label "bridesmaid" (with some maids or matrons of honor thrown in) makes your friends equally important. If you gave, say, three of your friends other "jobs" or titles, they're probably not going to be a part of planning your shower and bachelorette. Your six bridesmaids would take the lead there, and then things would likely get sticky. (Do the three lower-on-the-totem-pole friends chip in for the shower? Are they included as "hosts" when they mail the invite?) I just feel like there's no way to make everyone have equal status if you give some people a different label. Of course they're all going to love you and come to your wedding (and shower and bachelorette) regardless of whether you call them "bridesmaids" or "helpers" or "readers," but the people with the title "bridesmaid" WILL take a more important role in your wedding. And I feel like you want all nine girls to be equal.

Instead of giving some of your girls alternative roles, why not bend the rules to include all of them?

You could have the guys enter from the side instead of walking down the aisle, then send the girls down in sets of two. Instead of putting the girls one your side and the guys on his, you could have them all stand in an arc behind you, which should totally work in an outdoor space. (That's what Rory and I did with our uneven wedding party!) Or you could have your wedding party not stand at all. They could walk down the aisle then sit in the front row. (As a bridesmaid who's stood through a 40-minute ceremony, I can promise you they'll be relieved!)

Beyond that, I suppose you might be worried about your photos looking lopsided, but I feel like this is such a non-issue. (Who cares?!) And I guess if you were planning on "introducing" the wedding party before the reception kicks off, it might be a little weird, but you could either introduce the maids in pairs or just skip that part. (That gets my vote! I always hated being introduced as a bridesmaid!)

Of course your wedding might look a little lopsided to an outsider, but everyone at your wedding will know your situation, so they'll understand that the people your groom are closest with can't be there for the wedding.

Ladies, what do you think? Should Carrie trim her list of bridesmaids? Or is it fine to ask all nine of them?

Have a wedding-y dilemma of your own? E-mail me!

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